Etiquette: The Art of Being Polite

There has been a lot buzz lately around the Dojo regarding etiquette. Some of the talk is as a result of behavior witnessed by others at Yudansha testing and some straight talk from visiting Sensei Wendy Whited. It's a positive sign when dojo members recognize that etiquette is more important than just avoiding embarrassment. In fact it is, in my opinion, fundamental to training and is far reaching in it's implications.

Etiquette is the art of making people feel comfortable while at the same time maintaining dignity and respect in a formal setting. When we interact in social settings we strive to do so in as harmonious a fashion as possible. The type of social setting sets the tone for the behavior guidelines that we follow. Behavior that is perfectly acceptable at a beach party, for instance, would definitely be out of place at a funeral. We accept this as part of our socialization process that starts in early childhood.

When we made the decision to become aikidoka we took on a whole new social setting with a very different set of do's and dont's. There is for instance the bowing. Though courtly bowing in nineteenth century Europe was fashionable, it is not at all twenty-first century American. Dispensing with a history of the origins of bowing we can say with certainty that it is a show of respect.

In Aikido, and the martial arts in general, we do a great deal of bowing. We bow to each other. We bow when we enter the Dojo. We bow to Sensei when he/she gives instruction on the mat. Even our ceremonies that open and close classes involve a series of bows. What gives here? Why can't we just get on with the business of learning technique? The answers to these questions are hard wired to the essence of our training experience.

When we undertake the practice of Aikido we place ourselves in a somewhat precarious position. In fact we entrust our bodies and our very lives to those from whom we take instruction and with whom we train. There is an unspoken contract between instructor and student that goes something like this: "I, Sensei, will provide you safe and courteous instruction in Aikido and you will be a good and faithful student and not misuse the knowledge with which you are entrusted." Likewise between student's the agreement is: "I will train with you in a safe and courteous manner if you will do the same for me." By employing a bow, we seal these agreements between each other over and over again.

Further, we use a bow to communicate. For instance, when we begin a series of techniques we bow to our partner. This gives both people the assurance that they are in accord with one another as to what is going to ensue. Imagine if we just got up on our feet and started beating each other up. Pretty soon people would feel as if they were victims of cheap shots, distrust would break out and the structure of the the class would soon deteriorate. The simple and courteous act of bowing prevents this from happening.

This is just one aspect of etiquette that effects our training. Take a few minutes to contemplate some of the things that take place within the confines of the Dojo. Ask the question, "Why do we do this?" Invariably the answer is going to reflect on the essence of Aiki. And, just as assuredly, the understanding gained will create a more harmonious and productive training environment.

Yours in Aikido

Tom, Sensei